*sigh*

Next week begins our 3rd year of waiting. I get my hopes up time and time again only to be disappointed. I don't know how to turn my emotions off in this process. Every rejection stings so much, when we do finally make it to the rejection stage. I was that kid that was picked last in gym class. You'd think that I'd be used to it by now. 

In preparation and cleaning up for our home study renewal, I finally threw away the ultrasound pictures of the daughter we thought would be ours this week. Another almost, not quite, not even close in our life. I know that there are others that have waited longer, struggled more, but that doesn't seem to make this sting any less.

I don't know. I've been patient. I've prayed. I continue to be vigilent and strive to be a better person, but some days I feel like I will never make it to the finish line. There will always be another family that is somehow 'better' out there. I kinda feel like we'll always finish last, if at all.

So, brushing off the dust and girding the loins for battle as we strike out into year three of our adoption journey saga.
I don't know what else to do, but to keep on keeping on.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how to make it through the disappointments, I could really use them.